DEAR DEIDRE: MY colleague tricked me into having an affair with him....CONTINUE READING
He never told me he was married or that he had a family.
By the time I found out the truth, it was too late and I was emotionally hooked.
He is everything I ever wanted — really fit, successful and funny. Not to mention we have an amazing time in bed together.
However we are caught in this twilight zone — we love each other but can’t be together.
We’re both in our early 40s and have worked together for five years. Our affair started two years ago.
I only discovered he was married when his wife called me in tears. She had found messages between us.
At that point we had been seeing each other for a year.
She sent me family photos showing their two little boys, who are five and three.
I was in total shock and felt so guilty.
The revelation made me feel sick and I ended things.
After his wife told me everything, we didn’t talk for two months.
Then he showed up at my door saying he couldn’t live without me.
He was so sincere and I knew I wouldn’t be able to shut him out. I let him in and we rekindled our affair passionately.
Even though it doesn’t sit easily with me, my feelings for him are so strong and I haven’t found the strength to do the right thing.
He has even cried in bed saying I’m his perfect woman and he loves me more than his wife. But still he gets up and goes home to her.
I’m trying to look for another job, so I don’t have to see him on a daily basis. That way I figure I may be able to get away.
Still, at the moment I don’t have the emotional strength to deny him.
What should I do?
This relationship isn’t going anywhere.
You will only become more emotionally attached to him, which will cause you further distress long term.
You’re already feeling extremely guilty because you have spoken to his wife. This affair could also be affecting their children as well.
Ultimately, the best thing you can do is end this relationship and put some serious distance between both of you.
If you could get a different job that would certainly help you focus your attention elsewhere.
He is married and seems to have little intention of genuinely sorting out this mess.
He’s content to sneak to you then return to his family.
If he had planned to leave his wife, he would have done it by this point.
Please value yourself and think about the kind of relationship you want. You deserve someone kind, loving – and available.
My support pack Your Lover Not Free? will help you to move on…CONTINUE READING>>
