When it comes to the failures of men or women as a whole, single mothers are often blamed left and right while the men who actually make these women the heads of one-parent households largely escape culpability....CONTINUE READING
One man has claimed single moms are raising their daughters as husbands and sons as wives. As the subversion of traditional gender roles becomes more commonplace, a debate around the rise of more “masculine” women and “feminine” men has surfaced.
While the increasing need for two-income households or rejection of toxic masculinity could likely be linked to why we’re seeing a more even playing field when it comes to masculinity and femininity, one man shared his take on how being raised by a single mother affects the way boys and girls grow up.
Nino starts by saying, “Most single others raise their sons to be wives and their daughters to be husbands.” According to Nino, nine out of ten single mothers walk around in their “masculine energy.”
He explains that they have no one but themselves to depend on financially and are forced to adopt the masculine mindset of hustling and striving for achievement.
He believes that boys pick up on this lack of femininity in their mothers and learn early on that women tell men what to do and provide for them financially, leading men to look for those characteristics when they grow up and seek romantic partners.
As for the daughter, according to the TikToker, the complete opposite occurs. She follows her mother’s example, looking to be in a position of power, direct the actions of men, and lean into her own masculinity instead of allowing herself to be a feminine woman.
He makes some valid points about nature versus nurture. Children are products of both their genetic makeup and their environment. Which one is more influential in their lives varies from one child to the next.
But what is absolutely true is that they look to adults and caregivers to model appropriate behavior and societal norms that they should follow.
Parents should know exactly what they want to convey to their children and be self-aware enough to decide if their actions align with those goals.
A girl who associates her own gender with that of her mother is likely to take on those characteristics naturally. A boy, on the other hand, will notice that he and his mother are two different genders and subconsciously believe that he should do the opposite of what his mom is doing.
The same applies to how a father shows up for his kids, but moms tend to take the brunt of the blame for anything that seems ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’ about children.
Yet there are flaws to the logic that single mothers are to blame for their children’s masculine and feminine traits. The problem with Nino’s reasoning is that it relies on gender norms — some outdated — to decide what traits belong to women and which ones should be attributed to men.
As time has passed, women, including those in marriages and committed relationships, have become more educated, shifted their focus to their own goals and dreams, and started working outside the home.
So, the phenomenon of working moms is not limited to just single mothers. Are the moms in relationships impacting their children in the same way?
Another problem is that oftentimes, people see masculinity as something that should only be attributed to men, while femininity is reserved exclusively for women.
The reality is that everyone possesses both masculine and feminine energy. The key is to balance the two and call upon the one that is necessary and productive based on the situation at hand.
One thing that is becoming more and more true is that single mothers simply cannot catch a break. They sacrifice their own needs and dreams to do a thankless job that apparently no one else wants to do.
Still, they are blamed for their inability to teach a boy to be a man from personal experience and for instilling strength and resilience in their daughters just in case they need it later in life.
Beggars can’t be choosers, so if men have made a habit of abandoning their responsibilities to their children, they have no room to complain about the person who stepped up and did their jobs…CONTINUE READING>>
