A lot can happen after parents welcome their first child. Initially, happiness will overwhelm them as the joy that comes with a newborn is practically irresistible....CONTINUE READING
But this joy and happiness may diminish with time and as more children are welcomed into the family. Problems may set in as the happiness in the marriage reduces.
Does that mean that kids come with sadness? The obvious answer is no. However, most parents make some avoidable mistakes after having kids.
These mistakes can ruin or even split the marriage. Therefore, if you want to have a happy marriage after having kids, kindly avoid these mistakes.
1. Loving and caring for your kids more than your partner.
Your kids should not take away the love and care that has been existing in your marriage. They are blessings from God. They are not sent to destroy your marriage by taking away the love that have been keeping you together, rather, they are sent to make you happier. They are sent to make your marriage more fun and enjoyable.
There is joy in having keeps. In fact, there is this natural love that parents grow towards their kids, especially when they are still tender. But focusing your love and care on your kids alone can be detrimental to your marriage.
In as much as love cannot be divided or shared, you can still love your partner while still loving your kids. It doesn’t mean that you are sharing your love with your kids and partner.
For instance, if a man stops buying clothes for his wife and focus more on his kids’ clothes, he is showing more love to his kids than his wife.
Likewise, if a woman stops spending time with her husband because she loves to admire her kids, then she is being partial with her love.
Parents need to be organized. Have kids, love them, spoil them with love and material things, play with them and give them everything they deserve, but never undermine your love for each other. Never undermine your partner’s importance in your life.
Do not allow the love you have for each other before the arrival of your kids to deprecate when kids become members of your family.
Make time for each other, spoil each other with gift, play as usual, confess your love for each other as usual. These love gestures do not mean that your kids are loved less. It means that you value your love for each other. Remember that If you fail to show each other love, your kids will be affected too.
2. Forgetting the importance of couple time.
No matter the number of kids you have, never forget that there is time for everything. There is time for you to be with your kids. There is also time to be with your partner.
Couple time is very important in marriage. It is a big mistake to forget the concept of couple time. This big mistake is capable of ruining your marriage if you don’t act fast.
You don’t need to be away from your kids to enjoy your couple time. Resting your head on your man’s shoulder while still carrying your baby can be satisfying as well. No matter how small, make out time for each other.
3. Conflicting over parenting style.
This is a big mistake couples should have avoided even before having kids. Couples who plan things well must have discussed and agreed on the best parenting style to raise their kids with before having kids.
Decide on the perfect parenting style for your kids when they have not become a part of your family as this may become a threat to the love and peace in your marriage if discussed just after having kids.
4. Taking abrupt financial decisions.
You will spend more when you have kids. That is why planning ahead is very important. Avoid the mistake of taking abrupt financial decisions when you notice that you are spending more money. This can break your marriage, especially when your partner is not aware of it.
