It has happened to many of us that we are in the middle of a problem that is seriously affecting our life, and from which we have to act intelligently and quickly....CONTINUE READING THE FULL ARTICLE>>>
However, fear, insecurity, and uncertainty of what could happen do not let us move forward, turning that problem into our worst nightmare. Like this case of a mother who says she is fed up with her marriage and is only waiting for her husband to be unfaithful to separate.
“I am 28 years old, and I have spent every day of the last year wishing that my husband would cheat on me so that I would have a valid reason to end our relationship. I’ll give you some context.
I hate being married. My husband would rather spend more time with his parents and siblings than with me. We have spent the last three weekends at my in-laws’ house. Once we get out of there, my husband just plays video games with them late into the night. We haven’t been intimate for several weeks now.”
“It’s not just about intimacy. He complains about me all the time, behind my back and to my face. I’ve heard him tell our acquaintances that I’m annoying or that I’m a woman who complains a lot.
I don’t feel like I’m asking more of him than any other person would in my position. I don’t get home until after 7 most nights because I have to pick up the kids, and I never ask him to pick them up or cook dinner.
I ask him to help me clean the house and help me put one of the kids to bed. By the way, he is only willing to put one of them to bed. My house hasn’t been neat in months. He just doesn’t do housework. A few weeks ago, he ran out of clean underwear and told me it was my responsibility to keep it in good condition, blaming me for everything.”
“Also, the man flatly refuses to take care of himself. He complains when I cook because I try to make healthy meals, and he doesn’t like vegetables. He doesn’t want to go to the gym with me but insists on playing video games instead. Obesity runs in his family, and I am doing everything I can to encourage a healthy lifestyle change.
I know he is depressed, but he won’t talk to anyone or take medication. No matter how I try to encourage him, he just prefers to suffer.”
“All this to say that I don’t feel it’s a valid enough reason to divorce. I’m not happy in my marriage, but it can be fixed. As long as both parties are willing, of course. He just isn’t willing. I wish he would cheat on me to feel like I have a valid reason for divorce. At this point, it wouldn’t even hurt that much.
I want to add a little more context. I was raised in an extremely religious environment. Leaving without a ’good reason’ is highly frowned upon. I guess I still have that instilled in my head and I feel my reasons aren’t good enough.”
I decided to try to talk to him today about how I was feeling, and in the end, I packed up the kids’ stuff and my own. I will be staying at my mother’s house for an undetermined amount of time.
Therapy around here is either very expensive or hard to get, but we both agreed to give it a try.
I know it’s strange to need the push from strangers on the internet, but thank you for giving it to me. I honestly didn’t feel like I deserved to leave without a good reason. I’ve been told ’all men are like that,’ so I just tolerated it. Whatever happens next will be for the best.”
Married life can be difficult, but sometimes simple things like washing dishes together or complimenting each other can save a marriage…CONTINUE READING>>
