Fighting with your partner is never fun, and going to neutral and opposite corners afterward might make you feel even further apart. Fortunately, you have the option of viewing a conflict as an opportunity to try something new. Working at rekindling your relationship and regaining her can be part of this. The greatest ways to reclaim her heart are to be courteous, considerate, and vulnerable. The steps below should help you get back your girl if followed accordingly....CONTINUE READING
Step 1
Allow yourself time to relax and think more clearly. When one or both of you are still outraged or enraged after arguing, little can be accomplished, so it’s critical to let emotions settle. When it comes to how much time it takes to cool down, everyone is different, so don’t imagine she’s in the same emotional place as you.
Allow her a reasonable length of time to work through her powerful emotions and start to see things more calmly, such as a few days to a week. Then, when she’s ready, send her an email or text message requesting a time to talk. Avoid pressuring her to pick a day, time, or location, as this can lead to more arguments.
Step 2
Apologize. The act of saying “I’m sorry” is not an apology. Accepting responsibility for your part in the dispute, expressing regret, and explaining what you will do to correct the problem, or at the very least, avoid it from happening again, should all be included. An apology is a technique of absolving yourself of your actions or words. Recall that the apology is for her, not for you, and it could make or break your chances of getting her back.
Step 3
Determine what factors or actions contributed to the fight and what you should do to lessen your chances of running into them again. If you find yourself arguing over whether you’re spending enough personal time with her, for instance, it’s time to rearrange your schedule.
Change is vital, but it also has to be reachable, so ditching your buddies to spend every waking second with her isn’t a viable option. Sit down with her if possible to come up with a reasonable compromise that meets both of your needs. This technique also shows her that you are willing to enhance your relationship by making changes.
Step 4
Work on your own life, and be prepared for some pushback from her when you persuade her to return to you. Rehashing your dispute or your relationship is a waste of time and will not improve the problem. Spend the time you’re waiting for her to contact you on yourself. Enjoy your favorite pastimes and spend time with those that provide comfort and support in your life.
Recharge your batteries, grieve, and don’t waste time worrying about what has occurred or will occur. You have no influence over either of these. Spending quality time on yourself will make you a better image of yourself as well as a happier and more empathetic person for your girlfriend if she decides to start over with you.
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