Let me offer you a guy’s perspective....CONTINUE READING
When a man loves someone – truly, madly, deeply – there are some signs that he’ll give off that might not be extremely clear.
They can also be hard to tell apart from his feelings of lust or from his generally happy personality (if he has one).
But when you put all these signs together, you get a perfect snapshot of a man with truly deep feelings of love and affection for his partner.
I’m going to let you know the signs because, as a guy myself who has been in love before and is in love with his partner now, I know intimately what to look for.
If a man loves you deeply, he’ll consistently display these seven behaviors, and they’ll let you know his heart is yours for the taking.
Personally, I’m a pretty happy guy. I just happen to have a resting sad face. It’s not my fault; I just have kind of droopy eyebrows!
But I know that when I’m with my partner and feeling great, I end up smiling consistently. I feel lighter and more content, like my worries have been pushed far away.
There’s also a sort of communion of spirit there, a feeling that I’m not alone and I have someone in my corner.
Other men are generally happy and might be really quick to smile and laugh. Or at least they seem that way.
So how do you tell if it’s you making them smile or if they’re just good-natured?
There’s only one way to find out.
Now, I would never, ever advocate spying. But if I did, I would say have a sneaky look when he thinks you’re not around.
If his mood seems to be different when you’re not there, he’s likely happy because he’s around you.
But if he’s still as smiley as ever, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. It just shows that he’s a happy guy, and that’s definitely nothing to complain about!
This is one of the signs that you might not notice all the time if you’re not in the right mood (wink wink!).
It’s also one behavior that you might find hard to separate from intense sexual attraction.
When a man is really turned on and expecting sexy time, you might notice that your touch can make him shiver or even raise goosebumps.
This is because his adrenaline starts pumping, and his skin becomes extra sensitive to touch.
Well, that’s all fine and good and can make teasing and foreplay (think peacock feathers) a whole lot of fun.
But how is it a sign that he loves you deeply?
The way to tell is if your touch can cause similar reactions outside of a sexy context.
If he’s doing the dishes or reading his messages and you walk up and touch him, check out his response.
If it makes him quiver and squirm, he either has a full bladder or he has feelings for you that are so intense they cause this physical reaction.
Electrifying stuff, right?
Think about your own behavior, and you’ll quickly see how this sign makes perfect sense.
When you’re feeling down, hurt, confused, or in trouble, who do you go to?
If you said “Mom!” you’re not alone. But also, if you said, “The person I love,” you’re in the same boat as pretty much everyone else.
So if your guy comes to you when times are tough, it’s likely he’s thinking the exact same thing.
We all do this, after all.
We look to people who give us support and comfort. We also look for people who we think will accept us and give us unconditional love because we’re often in a tough spot because of what we’ve done ourselves.
No matter how much we talk about toxic masculinity, the truth is that most people still associate men with ideas of strength, protection, and even dominance and control.
This conceptualization comes from both our biology and our history and is pervasive across cultures.
I think it’s wonderful that the world is becoming more accepting of men showing their feelings and finding strength in vulnerability, but we’re definitely not all the way there yet.
So, it’s still hard for men to reveal vulnerability because most of us are taught to confuse this with weakness.
The truth is, everyone can be hurt or emotionally harmed, and pretending that we can’t is simply unfair to everyone involved. It makes the person pretending to be invulnerable seem hard and heartless. It makes the people around them feel pushed away.
But when a man can roll over like a sweet puppy and expose his soft belly to you, it shows that he’s really happy and comfortable with you.
He might let you know his biggest fears or his deepest secrets and, in doing so, make himself vulnerable. But by doing so, he’s showing the power of his love and trust for you.
And that’s definitely a strength.
No, he’s not doing some weird thing where he refers to himself in the third person, like a king or queen.
What I mean is that he works you into his plans and his vision of the future. He likes to include you and does it pretty much automatically.
This can be a really great sign to pick up on because it can be totally subconscious for him, and he might not even know he’s doing it.
He tells his friends, “We just stayed in a binged last night.”
His mom asks him what time he’s coming to visit, and he answers, “We’ll be there around six.”
These are all really good clues that he truly loves you.
But there’s a catch.
If he always uses “we,” especially when he’s telling you what to do or where to be, this could be something different.
Statements like “We’re going out for dinner tonight” and “I told them we’re busy” can be innocuous, but when they pop up again and again, this could be a sign that he’s really controlling.
In this case, he’s not respecting your individuality.
Conflicts arise in every relationship.
They could be about anything from jealousy to money. Well, there’s always going to be something about money!
But the question to ask yourself is, what happens with your conflicts? Are they often left outstanding, or do they get resolved? If they’re resolved, how? Who does the work?
If the answer to the last question is both of you, then you’re sitting pretty.
When you’re just a fling or in a casual relationship with a guy, he’s almost never going to bother trying to resolve conflicts or disagreements. What’s the point?
If there are things that make you butt heads, he’ll either put up with the consequences or avoid them, but he’ll almost never do the work of trying to solve things.
That’s because he knows it’s not all that important if you’re not going to have a future together. He’ll either let the relationship run its course organically or break it off if the conflicts become too much.
That’s a sign he’s just not invested.
But if he is and really loves you, he’ll be happy to put in the effort to make the relationship work.
If a guy truly loves you, one of the behaviors that he’ll consistently display is wanting to be seen with you.
I know. It sounds kind of trivial, right?
But believe me, it’s not for a lot of men.
They don’t even have to be the kind of guys who are overly considered with their image.
Men seem to have an automatic behavior setting that lets everyone know who they want to be closely associated with and who they’d rather no one knows that they know.
You know?
Check for these signs:
He’ll pick you up, so you go to places together rather than meeting you there.
He’ll stand close to you and touch you or hold your hand in public.
He’ll let you take couples selfies or even take and post them on his own social sites.
All of these behaviors tell you that he’s committed, that he’s real, and that he’s actually in love with you and wants the world to know it.
If a man loves you deeply, he’ll consistently display these seven behaviors.
Not all of them are easy to spot, and some might even take some real sleuthing to pick up on.
But once you do notice him doing a lot of these things, you can be really sure that his love for you is true. So if you’re wondering if you can depend on him, trust him, and have a future together, let these signs be your guide.
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
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