DEAR DEIDRE: KNOWING my married lover had sex with his wife is eating me up with jealousy. I’d hoped he’d finally found the strength to leave her. Instead, he went straight back to her bed....CONTINUE READING
I’m 37 and he is 46. He’s been married for 18 years and has two teenage daughters. We’ve been seeing each other for two years, after becoming friends at work.
I’m a copywriter and he’s a designer, so we often work together. I have fallen madly in love with him, and he said he loved me too.
At first, I was happy to snatch evenings or the odd weekend together when his wife wasn’t around. But over the past six months I’ve really struggled and wanted more.
He’s always insisted he didn’t sleep with his wife any more. He told me our sex life was better than theirs had ever been.
We have incredible chemistry and it’s always very exciting and passionate. Two months ago, he finally told his wife about us, left home and went to stay with his brother.
I was so happy. But instead of meaning we could finally be together, it’s had the opposite effect. His wife begged him to come home and said his children were devastated.
He became so riven with guilt that he agreed. He told me he wasn’t ready to leave his family. He claimed he still wanted to be with me but needed to sort things out properly for his kids’ sake.
And then he confessed that he’d had sex with his wife again. Apparently, it just happened the night he went back and was a big mistake. I am so hurt and confused.
I don’t know if I can trust him any more and I’m dreading having to work with him again soon. Should I end the affair altogether?
This man may genuinely love you and be unhappy with his wife, but it’s clear he isn’t ready to leave her or to break up his family.
He may never be ready. The fact he had sex with his wife shows he isn’t ready to step away from his family.
Meanwhile, you have put your life on hold and you are hurting. In your heart, you know this relationship has no future.
If work is too difficult, ask if you can be teamed with another designer. My support pack, Your Lover Not Free, has more insight into the pitfalls of affairs…CONTINUE READING>>
