Some scientists recently showed a very important statistic: the number of 25-year-old men and women who are single is increasing. At the same time, while 23% of men do not marry, so do 17% of women....CONTINUE READING
Of course, these values are not fixed; they always change. In the last few decades the world has changed a lot. Just like technology, we have changed a lot, which has caused our behaviors in many ways to change as well, and marriage is one of them.
Incrível.club studied the reasons why many men remain single. See how this is not always associated with a desire for freedom and independence.
1. Low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence
People who don’t trust themselves are often afraid of abandonment, which often causes panic attacks and jealousy. Nowadays, the lack of self-confidence is greater because of social media: people are forced to compare themselves with others all the time. We are always thinking that we are poorer, uglier, or more failures than others.
According to American studies , getting dumped on a dating site affects men more than women. To increase self-esteem, psychologists recommend that people criticize themselves less, don’t compare themselves to others, and seek new goals.
2. An unpleasant physical appearance
We often look at the physical aspect when choosing someone. In the modern world, physical attraction has taken on a very important role, especially when two people exchange messages and photos before setting up a real date.
The complexity is that beauty standards change quickly and many men just can’t adapt. They should remember that many ‘flaws’ are really just new. Charisma, intelligence and a beautiful smile are much more important than being fashionable or having pumped muscles.
3. Inability to make a good impression
Scientists believe that men who can’t flirt think they’ll always be single. Before, marriages were arranged by parents and young people didn’t even have to worry about it. Today, men need to strive to conquer someone. And this is something that everyone can learn.
Jeff Haden is one of the most influential and famous people on Linkedln. He believes that the most charming people are not afraid of losing, and very wisely, use good facial and body expressions and are not afraid of making mistakes. They know how to ask good questions, remember other people’s names, and are always smiling.
4. A lot of work
Today, many people work whenever and wherever they want. Many can work while traveling; just take the computer. But a lot of people don’t really know how to divide their time, and they can’t relax.
This exaggerated love of work, according to psychologists, can hide problems. An intense workload is a way to escape loneliness, anxiety and fear. American therapist Irvin D. Yalom recommends that busy people always ask themselves a question: where and why am I going in this direction?
5. A sad experience from a previous relationship
In the last 20 years the average age at which men marry has increased from three to six years. Young people have a lot of time to see if the relationship works before they get married, and many relationships don’t end in marriage. The painful experience of a relationship can lead a person to think that everyone will be the same, so they choose a single life.
The author of the book Divorced Girl Smiling, Jackie Pilossoph , says that a new relationship after divorce is very scary, which is normal. Nevertheless, according to some observations, the longer we are single, the more likely we are not to marry.
6. Unfavorable Position of Man in Divorce
About 100 years ago, women had very few rights and few could even think about getting divorced. In that sense, they were completely dependent on their husbands. Nowadays, the situation has changed a lot in some countries. Although society is still very sexist, many women are independent.
When divorce happens, it is often the man who is worse off. He needs to pay child support and at the same time they usually stay with their mothers. Of course, these situations are not black and white, but in general this is what happens,
7. Fear of taking responsibility
So-called millennials (or millennials , born after 2000 ) have a hard time starting a family. They marry later than previous generations or never marry at all. One of the reasons is the fear of taking on responsibilities, perhaps because of the overprotection of the family or the wide variety of possibilities that the modern world offers. American researcher Barry Schwartz calls this the ‘paradox of choice’. He says that variety ends up making us unhappy.
Psychologists say that there are many reasons for fear of taking responsibility: fear of making mistakes, fear of competition, fear of failure, low self-esteem and even genetic reasons.
8. The habit of living alone
The concept of marriage has changed a lot over the years. If before there were well-defined roles in the family (the father works outside the home and the mother takes care of the house), today people live very well independently. Also, today people have a lot of options for things to do, so they leave the wedding for later.
Over time, they get used to living alone. The man who spends a lot of time alone gets used to a certain lifestyle and is not in a hurry to change, because he is afraid of losing his autonomy.
American psychologist Bella DePaulo believes single life isn’t that bad. Single people experience fewer negative emotions and tend to dedicate more time to self-development.
