Within the past few years, guys having a “side chick” has reached an all-time high. You’d think men would “keep it 100” and tell you if they weren’t ready to be in a relationship with only one person (or that he’s actually already with someone when you meet)...READ THE FULL ARTICLE FROM THE SOURCE

Instead, they’ve gotten a lot more clever and underhanded in their tactics and they know how to keep their girlfriends and their side chicks separate. What’s worse, a lot of women don’t even mind being a guy’s bit on the side, which gives men more reason to have one. Here are a few signs that he’s actually in a relationship with someone else.

He buys you stuff to keep you happy.

Hush gifts are things he buys for you when you start talking about serious stuff, like moving in together, committing, or spending time with his family, and an argument sparks.

Because he wants to keep you as his side chick, he finds your material weakness and plays on that to stray you away from the serious topics and also to keep you around.

He seems completely disconnected when you get emotional with him.

When women date, they anticipate the time in their relationships when they fall for the guy and can tell him how they feel. However, if you open up to your guy and tell him how you feel repeatedly and he doesn’t reciprocate and/or tries to downplay the entire topic, this could be a sign that his heart lies elsewhere.

You’re never invited to stay the night after sex.

As couples get more comfortable with each other, they tend to stay over at one another’s place after sex. However, if he leaves your apartment in the middle of the night, or makes sure you never stay over at his place, this is a definite red flag. Also, keep in mind, if he has a family or even just a girlfriend, staying until dawn will never be an option.

He refuses to show affection in public.

PDA should never be an issue in any relationship, so long as it’s within reason. But if you go to grab his hand and he pulls his away, or you never kiss or get too close when you’re out together, this could be a sign that you’re a side chick. This also gives him room to lie to his “main chick” about who you are if you two happen to be seen.

He dodges every photo opportunity.

Everyone is on Facebook and Instagram posting their food, kids, and significant others. Snapchat and Oovoo also make every day a motion picture production. So, if you notice that your guy is dodging selfies like bullets whenever you tilt your phone to take a picture, you may be a side chick.

You have a “secret spot” that he tries to play off as romantic.

Every couple has a favorite spot to eat or hang out. However, if he choses to always take you miles outside of the city or to venues with very little traffic, it’s a possibility he’s trying to be discreet about being out with you without letting you know.

He always wants to meet late at night.

If you only meet after dark or after reasonable date hours, such as 11pm or later, chances are he has another life that he leads – the hours prior to those late-night “booty call” hours.

He prefers to stay in when you’re together.

If your guy always strays away from going out or always wants to just come to your place to hang out, this is a major side chick indicator. There’s a difference between a guy being a homebody and trying to be sneaky with your relationship. Every couple has dinner at restaurants or goes on movie dates from time to time.

You’re never invited to family gatherings.

If you have never met a guy’s parents and children or haven’t been to any events that include his friends, this is another side chick indicator.

He has to go suddenly whenever you’re on the phone.

When you speak to your guy on the phone, if he speaks to you in a very formal tone without even addressing you by name more often than not, that’s a definite sign you are a side chick. If he’s always gotta go suddenly or straight up hangs up on you out of nowhere from time to time, that’s probably because his actual girlfriend got home.

He won’t let you take his picture.

He doesn’t want any proof floating around that the two of you have spent time together. If his girlfriend ever came across the snapshots, then it would ruin his entire arrangement. That’s why he pretends that he’s camera-shy.

He won’t go out in public with you.

If he spends hours at your house, but won’t run to the store with you for five minutes, then he’s worried about being seen with you in public. Even if he wasn’t in a relationship, refusing to be seen with you means that he’s embarrassed of you when a real man would be proud to show you off.

He won’t let you visit his house.

If you stopped by his house, his parents or roommates would see you, and then they could mention your little visit to his girlfriend. His girl might even drive past his house and see your car in the driveway, which would cause a huge fight. That’s why he prefers to play it safe by inviting himself over to your place.

He won’t stay the night.

If he actually stayed the night, then you would assume that he was serious about your relationship, and he doesn’t want that. Plus, if he’s living with his girlfriend, she’d have dozens of questions about why he didn’t come home, where he was, and whom he was seeing.

He only texts you when he wants sex.

When he texts you, does he ask you about your day and tell you about his? Or does he only message you to ask for nudes or a booty call? If he only talks to you about sex, then that’s the only reason you’re in his life.

He won’t introduce you to his friends.

If he won’t introduce you to any of his family members or friends, they might not even know that you exist. If he wants to keep his cheating on the down low, then he’s not going to tell anyone about you. Otherwise, his secret wouldn’t stay a secret for long.

He won’t add you on social media.

If he let you see his Facebook or Instagram, then you’d see all of the photos of him and his girlfriend. Then you’d cut him out of your life, and he doesn’t want that. He wants to have his cake and eat it, too.

He won’t spend the holidays with you.

When you’re in a serious relationship, you’ll stop by at your boyfriend’s house to say hello to his family. If you’re only his side chick, then he’s going to be spending the holidays with someone else, which means that he’ll want you to keep your distance.

He won’t tell you who he’s texting.

If he has a lock screen on his cell, and won’t tell you who he’s texting after you ask him, then something’s fishy. He’s either cheating on you or cheating with you. Otherwise, he wouldn’t hesitate to show you his phone screen.

He won’t call you his girlfriend.

There’s always a reason behind his actions, so don’t let him off the hook if he refuses to consider you his girlfriend after months of sleeping together. Maybe he has commitment issues. Maybe he wants to move slow. Or maybe you’re just his side chick.

A lot of people hate on the side chick or pass the blame on to them. But sometimes, they’re just as clueless as the partner that got cheated on. These are the painful stages of finding out you’re the woman on the side.

The force of being blindsided

The initial shock factor of finding out that the object of your affection is already taken sucks. It’s like having the wind knocked out of you violently. It destroys every daydream you ever had for a future that never existed.

Wondering what vibe you gave off that caused you to be chosen

You start to wonder what it was about you that made you the perfect target to play stand-in to their relationship. Were you just in the wrong place at the wrong time? Or, did he think you were weak or an easy target?

Feeling unworthy and full of self-doubt

What does she have that I don’t?You wonder why you’ve finally found someone you loved spending time with… but he already had someone else before you. You wonder if you had just met him first, things might be different. They wouldn’t because he would likely have done the same thing to you eventually.

Realizing your trust was broken too

You thought he was faithful to you. But, the reality is he was unfaithful to her. That’s a trust he broke between you two, as well. He screwed both of you over.

Contemplating whether should tell the main chick, if she doesn’t already know

This is when anger starts to penetrate you. You feel guilt over being put in this situation. You feel like the way to be in control again is to come out with the truth.

You’ll live in this place for a while, wrestling with if you should or shouldn’t say anything. This only increases your pain.

Feeling guilty for no reason

You feel so guilty, like you’re the one in the wrong. You know you’ll be seen as the villain for being the one he played with. So, you hate yourself and blame yourself for a while. You need to remember that this isn’t your fault. You didn’t ask for this.

Realizing the signs you didn’t realize were signs

Think of that time he stepped out of the room to make a phone call. Or, how you never met any of his friends. What about how all of your dates always had to be super low-key? Realizing that the signs were there all along can be devastating. You feel like an idiot. You weren’t. You were just hopeful.

Experiencing incredible amounts of sympathy

You start to reflect on the horror of the situation in its entirety. You feel bad for yourself and for his girlfriend. You realize you’re both victims in this situation and the pain you’re feeling is shared. You wish there was something you could do to make things okay. There isn’t.

Reaching inevitable defeat and acceptance

Once the damage sinks in, you reflect on everything you just went through. You realize you’ve been played. Even though you got hurt and you didn’t find the right guy, you weeded out a master loser before it was too late.

Sure, it’s going to hurt for a while. But, at least you’re no longer wasting time with someone who doesn’t deserve you. You just know better for next time you gamble your heart….CONTINUE READING THE FULL ARTICLE>>>

Discover more from Fleekloaded

Subscribe to get the latest posts to your email.

Discover more from Fleekloaded

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading