When you get pregnant, you gain a lot of strength, but you also gain a lot of fragility....CONTINUE READING
This vulnerability is a gift in many ways, including enhancing your ability to experience love so deeply that it shakes your core, making sacrifices in the cause of another person a delight rather than a hardship, and generating heightened awareness for the world and people around you and bigger breasts and fuller hair.
You become more vulnerable as a result of your vulnerability. Others’ words, actions, and emotions will have a greater influence on how you interact with yourself and your surroundings, as well as how you navigate pregnancy and birth stages.
Here are seven people to avoid during pregnancy to guarantee that your journey into motherhood is filled with people who honor and nourish your vulnerability rather than exploiting it.
1. Women who want to share their terrifying birth stories with you
On your journey to motherhood, there is no room for any more “horror birth” nonsense. I’m guessing your mind is already adept at navigating worst-case scenarios; you don’t need others to inform you about theirs.
If a stranger, mother, sister, cousin, friend, acupuncturist, or anyone else tries to tell you a birth story, stop them and ask if the story will fill you with hope and excitement, or fear, for your upcoming birth.
If you’re afraid, have them tell you the story after you’ve delivered your baby.
2. A medical professional who tells you “you can’t do it.”
You also don’t want any of this commotion. You want someone to remind you of how amazing your birth can be and what you can do to make it such.
Even if you have a unique set of circumstances that necessitate specific medical procedures during your birth, your journey to motherhood may still be wonderful, and your care provider should encourage you to do so.
Find someone who emanates optimism for the pleasant and healthy birth they’ll strive to help you achieve if your care provider always speaks to you in worried tones.
3. The part of you that tells you “you won’t be able to do it”
It’s going to be difficult to say goodbye to this friend. The inner individual in question has most likely been with you for a long time, claiming to keep you safe from dangers.
And now they’re freaking out about the unpredictability of your path, and they may want you to suppress your intuition in order to maintain the status quo (e.g., accept the interventions pushed on you, even if they seem wrong, or give birth in the same place your friends gave birth because it’s what you’re used to).
By choosing to trust your intuition the first answer you receive after asking yourself a question rather than the voice of your anxieties, you can cut ties with this scared and limiting side of yourself.
This separation may be difficult at first, leaving you temporarily untethered from stability, but you’ll soon become excited about the possibilities that freedom brings.
4. People who tell you how to give birth.
These people are content with the way they gave birth and want you to affirm their decision by doing the same. If you intuitively feel aligned with some of these people’s suggestions, that’s great; go with it.
But what if you don’t like the options they provide? You have the option to say no or to chose something different; your choices have no influence on them.
Keep them around if they recognize this and aren’t hooked to whether you go one way or the other. You may need to minimize your exposure to them, at least until your kid arrives, if they press you to do things their way.
Say yes to individuals who care more about how you want to give birth than how they think you should.
5. Friends with whom you don’t feel emotionally secure
During my first trimester, I had a friend who couldn’t understand how my partner and I could be thrilled about our unforeseen pregnancy, and she told everyone who would listen about it.
I was saddened and felt like our proverbial circle of trust had been destroyed when I found out. I had a strong desire to cut her out of my life right away.
Maybe if I hadn’t been pregnant, I would have worked harder to get past the breach. But I was devoting so much emotional energy to my own problems that I couldn’t get the motivation to dive into hers. You don’t either.
While pregnant, guard your heart and only share it with individuals who will treat it with the same gentleness with which they would treat your baby.
6. Your mother or mother-in-law is terrified
“Mom interventions” have been something I’ve had to assist clients with. Asking a mother who is pouring huge doses of worry into a birthing setting to leave the room is one example of a mom intervention.
Even though we don’t like to admit it, many of us give our mothers’ opinions a lot of weight. While we may not always agree with these viewpoints, they frequently have a powerful place in our brains.
If you have a mother figure who constantly shares opinions about your pregnancy that make you feel anxious, you can stop talking about it when you’re with her.
Suggest that you spend some time organizing the nursery or planning a baby shower, but direct the subject away from birth preparation, medical issues, or anything else she might be afraid of.
7. People who are envious of your pregnancy and inform you of their feelings
It’s not uncommon to have ladies in our lives who are having difficulty conceiving and are yearning to join you at the pregnancy celebration.
You don’t have to eliminate all of these women from your life, but if any of them are making it difficult for you to enjoy your pregnancy by making you feel guilty or ashamed for being pregnant, say, I love you, and bye at least for now.
While you want to support this buddy through their difficulties, you have the right to put your baby and yourself first.
It’s difficult to break up with someone. Our culture pushes women to please others at all costs, but you have the right to keep these people out of your life for as long as you need them.
On this enormous and emotional journey, you deserve to feel empowered to assert your right to choose who you surround yourself with. Do it for the sake of your child. Make it a personal goal.
Now go have some decaffeinated tea with a friend who only wants to be a safe space for you to share your heart’s concerns, desires, and questions, while discreetly stroking your feet and nodding in agreement.
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