We were in bed together enjoying happiness when my boyfriend held her hand and said, “I’m moving to the United States and I’m not coming back. It’s not going to work for me in the long run. I hope to meet someone there and you will found someone here too....CONTINUE READING THE FULL ARTICLE>>>
I went from swimming in cloud 9 to breaking rocks. I want to die. I didn’t expect our four year relationship to end like that. I have sworn to love and everything to do with it. It was around the same time that a guy I knew was trying to get me to meet him. I kept telling him I wasn’t interested, but he didn’t give up.
One day I decided I had to let go of the pain of my past and face the future. I thought of a man who would not give up on dating me. I called him; “I’m ready now. I’ll give you a chance.”
We talked about my experience with my ex. I told him I needed a while to fully love again. It was September 2015. We started dating and gradually I fell in love with her. We got married in February 2016.
A lot has happened in our marriage since then. I don’t know if I missed the signs when we met. Or if he hid it so well I couldn’t figure it out.
Just three months after the wedding he started hitting me. He said he corrected certain behaviors in me. It got to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore, so I started fighting. There was a time when he spent the night outside. When he got home I asked him “Where have you been?
He got angry and hit me, I retaliated. We had a fight that day. I put all my strength into him, but in the end I lost. Turns out he had spent the night with another woman He has come to apologize for his actions and I have forgiven him. We have our good days but we also have our bad days. The bad days are really bad.
Our walls are stained with shadows of fist fights and punches as if we were living in a boxing ring. He would beat up the people around me and insult them when they didn’t cheer him up. He did it for one of my best friends. He tried my boss’s wife after taking her number from my cell phone. My boss sent me a screenshot of his chat.
When I confronted him about it he said he didn’t know that face was my boss’s wife. My own sister said he tried to rape her. I asked him and his defense was; “Your sister walks around the house naked. She’s the one who tried to seduce me.”
Eventually, I got tired of complaining, so I turned a deaf ear to them. His behavior ruined my relationship with everyone around me.
Then there were times when I lost my job. My only source of income is the Facebook ads I create for people. It wasn’t enough to support me, so I relied on him for certain needs. As we argued, he took everything he ever bought for me; Phones, clothes, sandals, everything. He returned it when he had calmed down.
We stayed in the 2 bedroom house he built after we got married. One room is ours and the other is for the kids. He moved me to the nursery so he could have the master bedroom all to himself. He only let me into his room when he wanted to have sex.
Our marriage was full of fights and fights. If I’m lucky, he’s silent for a week of the month. At that time, my love for him faded.
He locked food in his room, drinking water. If I don’t have money, I have to buy water for drinking on credit from a nearby shop. When the children were hungry, he would take them to his room and feed them, and he would starve me. He even burned my clothes once just because he could.
When I finally found a job, he started to feel insecure. He said, “You want to work so you can pay me back for everything I’ve done for you. I won’t allow that.” In the morning when I had to show up to pick up my review letter, I got up early and went to his room.
I had to make breakfast for the kids and went to buy Milo and milk. my husband beat me at 4:50 am until I found a way to call the police and my father. My father showed up and they had a fight.
My husband told my father; “Your daughter is a thief. She broke into my room. She.. she broke into mine.” know it’s against my rules. My father asked, “What did he steal?” Instead of answering, he took a knife and threatened to stab my father. fork and stood between them. We landed at the police station.
He was arrested. At night no one went to save him, so my father did.
The next day he brought my father a bottle of liquor and lay in front of him and begged for his forgiveness. My father forgave him and accepted the liquor, then asked me to return to him. After all that, I still got the job. When he found out I had a job he told me his business wasn’t doing well, so I had to take care of the house.
I am in charge of everything; Utility bills, school fees, books, food, clothing, and water. After being the breadwinner of the house for 8 months, my husband brought me a car. I asked him, “Where did you get it?” First he said: “My friend in the army gave it to me.
He later said: “It was a joke. I wanted to buy it so I could use it for the Bolt. Another time he said, “Someone actually gave it to me. He wanted me to use it for work so I could take care of the kids.
At that time I asked, “What is the truth?” After that question, things got bad, so I never asked again. He turns his car into a taxi and asks the driver to work with him. I didn’t make it. He tried other drivers but to no avail. One day he woke up and said, “It’s time to tell me about the things you did before we got married.
The people you did those things with told me about it.” I looked at him confused; “What are you talking about? We’ve been married for six years, so where are you from?” He started yelling at me, “Leave my house or confess! The things he does are the reason I treat you the way I do.”
I panicked and headed to my father’s house. I don’t know what he’s talking about, but there’s no point in arguing with him.
My father invited her over and asked, “What’s the matter? What did she do to you this time? “He said, ‘She was a prostitute before I married her.’ He tried to hide it, but I got it.
I was devastated to hear my husband say that about me at all. Did you know that I was in university and also working when we met. After she broke up, I sold my clothes to support us. Why would I do that if I’m a prostitute?
I finally had enough. I said to him, ‘If you say someone told you I was a sex worker and you believe them, go and be with that person. I ended this marriage.” He immediately accepted it and left. My father tried to dissuade me from my decision but I told him: ‘I need some distance from him.
This marriage has done me more harm than good.” I went to the house to get clothes. He took a broom and swept all my stuff and tied it up with the sheets and then said, “Take all your stuff. My house is not a refugee camp.” I took him and left.
A few days later, in my absence, he went home and had a fight with my mother, drawing public attention. My father beat him and threw him out. They throw stones at each other. From what I heard it was a dirty scene to watch.
He then went to the police station to report that his legal wife had left his house because she asked him a simple question. He went to his father-in-law to see his children and was beaten. My mother and I were invited to the police station for questioning. The case was later dropped.
Two weeks after the problem with the police, he asked me to come back. He told me: “Do it for the kids. You have to grow up with both parents. You don’t have to like me for that. Let’s continue this marriage for children. I will correct my mistake.
I will make peace with your parents. I promise to be a better husband.” I said to him, “Your family needs to come and see my family and apologize for what you did to my parents.” He said, “I don’t want my family to know about our problem. I will filter and change.
I’m torn between going back and staying where I am now. My mind wants to go back because of the kids. My body doesn’t want to be near him. I currently live at my parents’ house. I work and take care of my children. If I come back and he misbehaves, I can’t go back to my parents.
They told me that they were not happy with my marriage. I’m not interested in him anymore. I even visited him and took a bath with him, but I didn’t feel a thing.
He told me that if he didn’t take it now, he wouldn’t ask me again. I feel like I need some time to find out if he’s really changed and to see if I’ll ever fall in love with him again…CONTINUE READING>>
