Three scripts from three men about their sex challenges with their wives. “She hasn’t touched me in weeks. She never initiates sex.”...CONTINUE READING>>
“It’s like she doesn’t want me anymore. I feel hopeless.” “I want it and I want it now. I’m sick of this shit.”
I have a lot of empathy for men experiencing sexual challenges. Let’s face it, we are mammals. We need closeness. We need touch.
“Yeah, right,” I can hear one of those men saying, “tell that to my wife.” First, consider what most guys do. It’s something that diminishes intimacy. It is the big C word that separates our heart from our ***.
Compartmentalizing. Or we walk on eggshells, trying to score points with her in hopes of getting intimacy. But she sees through that inauthentic behavior.
“How can I get her to open up?” one of the men asks me. “What can I do differently?” says another. “How do I get more sex?”
Each man treats his wife like a problem to be fixed. He goes transactional. He thinks something like…If I help her with the house, maybe she’ll give me more sex. If I do A, then maybe I’ll get B.
We stay focused on the sex and lose focus on her, the person. We separate kindness, trust, and respect from the physical act of sex.
Stop compartmentalizing and instead, start connecting. See her, the whole person. Listen to her, feel her, understand her. And do it without any expectation of reciprocation for sex.
Focus on experiencing more closeness with her — more meaningful conversations, heart-to-heart talks, touching, kissing her before you leave for work, hugging her when you come home.
“But that’s too much work. I just want sex,” a guy says. I hear you, man, and I get it. For years, I had that mindset in a sexless marriage. It’s compartmentalizing.
I wrote about it in my Amazon best-selling book. “Fixing You Is Killing Me.” At the time, I missed what most men miss.
To feel sexual, she has to be loved, seen, heard, and felt. Or else she does not open up sexually. If you answered “no” to any of these questions, watch the video below to learn how to connect with your wife to enhance your sex life.
As I say in the video, sex in a marriage is a long game. It requires the willingness to do some work. Separating the physical from the emotional is easy for us guys.
To align the two is new terrain. Something required of us men only in the last 30 or so years. Something we must work on if we are to experience a sexually fulfilling relationship.
The authenticity of your intentions. The courage of your efforts. The willingness to show up emotionally. Stuart Motola is a men’s relationship coach who offers guys concrete strategies for how to get unstuck in relationship.
With over 15 years working with thousands of men on their relationships and personal growth, Stuart utilizes a unique system that breaks the patterns that keep men tied up in frustrating relationships.
Unlike many therapists and couples counselors, who can frustrate guys with excessive talking, Stuart focuses on explicit action. His unique process offers each man a clear and direct roadmap of progress to create lasting positive results…CONTINUE READING>>
