DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN the man I had been having an affair with dumped me, my husband smirked and goaded that I’d lost my escape route and was stuck with him for ever....CONTINUE READING THE FULL ARTICLE>>>
The worst part is that I worry he’s right.
We have been together for nearly 25 years, but he has always put his friends and drinking first.
I’m 51 and he is 54. Our daughters are 23 and 22 and have left home.
I have lost count of the times my husband has gone out on two or three-day benders, leaving me at home with our two daughters — on my birthday, their birthdays, on the day I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
So after turning 50, I started to travel on my own, learn Spanish and joined a very sociable badminton club.
My husband didn’t even seem to notice that I wasn’t staying in any more.
After all, his life hadn’t changed. He was still down the pub at least three nights a week.
Then on my last trip abroad, to South America, I met an amazing man. Like me, he was unhappily married.
We met in our small hotel in Chile and ended up exploring the country together for an idyllic ten days.
We made love every night and every morning and I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy.
When we returned to the UK we met up twice and I really thought we were going to make a future together.
But then three months ago instead of arranging our next rendezvous, he messaged to say his wife had discovered our affair and he was calling it off.
I haven’t been able to stop crying.
Last night I walked out of the bathroom to find my partner reading my texts.
He laughed at me and said, “Awwww. Even Lover Boy doesn’t want you any more”. I’ve never felt so low.
DEIDRE SAYS:
Your partner has taken you for granted for your whole adult life and even now he faces the prospect of losing you, he isn’t moved a jot.
I normally encourage couples to work through their relationship issues, unless there is some abuse, but your partner doesn’t seem capable of working at your relationship.
Without both people pulling together, I’m afraid there is no happy future.
While I would never condone an affair, it’s clear yours highlighted the possibilities out there.
That said, it’s always better to leave a relationship because they aren’t the right person for you, not because you have a better option.
My support packs Mending A Broken Heart and How To End A Relationship will help you think things through…CONTINUE READING>>
