Many women come to my couples counseling practice asking for advice about their relationships, including questions about whether their partner has the qualities and characteristics needed to become a “successful husband.”...CONTINUE READING
This is clearly not a scientific question, as each individual has different tastes, values, priorities, and preferences. However, there are general qualities of a good husband that make a man more appealing, desirable, and a more successful life partner.
What makes a good husband?
When searching for a long-term partner or soulmate, women (and men, too) often have the misguided notion that they need to find their soul twin, with all of the same likes, dislikes, hobbies, taste in music and food, and (the list can go on and on).
However, the primary quality among the most essential ones in a good husband is compatibility, not to be mistaken with comparability. Can you imagine how monotonous your time together would become — and fast?
Compatibility is critical when finding someone who will help bring balance to the relationship, along with being emotionally available, stable, and ready for the leap into marriage. Of course, there are other significant qualities you should be mindful of when choosing your significant other for the rest of your life.
4 Qualities of a good husband
1. He shares important core values with you.
Values are those “rules of life” that inherently guide how you live your life. They’re deeply rooted in personal beliefs that are fundamental to who you are. They’re also very difficult to change.
Connecting on a spiritual, emotional, and shared values level with a man you wish to marry is a key indicator for long-term marital success. When you and your partner know that you are on the “same page,” you’ll feel more confident that he’s truly the man you want to marry.
When you both think ahead into the marriage and know you can respect each other’s perspective on important marital issues (such as family dynamics, child rearing, finance, in-laws, roles, and responsibilities), you know you’re making the right choice.
2. He’s emotionally mature.
A responsible, emotionally intelligent man who can control his impulses shows true maturity. As such, he likely has the capacity to deal with the change, disappointment, stress, and conflict that life (and marriage) invariably bring.
A well-grounded man with a sense of balance can confront life and face ups (and especially downs) in a constructive way while remaining a resilient, supportive and engaging partner.
Look for a man who can respond to a challenging issue responsibly, rather than react impulsively.
3. He appreciates you and accepts your shortcomings.
The old saying “Happy wife, happy life!” is accurate and valid (and it’s also worth mentioning that the same goes for “happy spouse” equals “happy house”).
Appreciation goes a long way when creating a happy relationship. In fact, feeling appreciated is a primary quality of happy life.
If you don’t feel appreciated or loved by your man, you’re paddling into dangerous waters. But when he openly demonstrates his respect and appreciation for you (with his words and actions), you know you’ll live a happy life with your man.
That said, while he appreciates your qualities (good cook, caring, social, engaged, supportive), he should also accept your shortcomings (being a little messy, talking a bit too much, not being on time).
He must deeply recognize and accept that no one is perfect (including him). His overall view of you should be positive.
4. He manages conflict well.
Arguments, disagreements, and conflict are not only unavoidable parts of any relationship, but also are necessary ingredients to forming a strong and lasting intimacy.
Many couples communicate in a destructive way, leading to frustration, anger, and disconnection. Many other couples steer clear of having meaningful discussions at all to avoid fighting. But, healthy communication is the basis of any successful relationship.
One of the most important factors that helps couples thrive is their ability to deal with different conflicts, manage difficult emotions (such as disappointment, frustration, and anger), de-escalate arguments, and disagree respectfully.
A man who shares his thoughts and feelings with you without reservation; a man who talks things out with you; a man who discusses difficult subjects with you and can disagree yet still come to some kind of resolution, is a man who has healthy communication skills and will make a great husband…CONTINUE READING>>
