You might think that your partner really loves you so much when he does something considerate and nice for you. But are you certain you aren’t conflating love with manipulation? Here are 12 telltale clues that your sweetheart is actually a jerk in disguise:...CONTINUE READING
1. He is constantly “checking in.
He simply had to send you three SMS in a row, each and every one more frantic/demanding than the last, because he missed you very much when you were out with your friends. Isn’t it lovely? Not at all. If he does this frequently, it’s more probable that he’s checking in on you rather than checking out.
2. He says, “But I Love You So Much!” as an excuse.
Does it seem that every time your partner does something that irritates you, such as displaying severe jealousy, he instantly excuses himself by claiming that his bad conduct is due to his undying love for you? It could be a strategy for him to divert your attention away from his nonsense and reclaim your favor. But don’t dismiss his actions; they’re a true expression of his thoughts.
3. He won’t be able to live without you.
He tells you that you are so important to him that he would die if you were not there. This isn’t romantic at all; it’s creepy. When you don’t do whatever they want, some emotional abusers may threaten suicide as a means to control you.
4. He says you are his entire world.
Again, it’s not particularly romantic. No one should feel obligated to be someone’s entire world. If he says this, he’s implying that he prefers to be isolated with you rather than have healthy integration into the world. Don’t be surprised if he begins to isolate you from your loved ones in order to have you all to himself and dominate you.
5. He overfills your cardboard with gift cards you don’t require.
It might be charming, but not if he criticizes your possessions. He’s not providing you with a surprise gift if he replaces your furniture, clothing, or other belongings with ones he chooses for you – he’s attempting to transform you into someone you’re not.
6. He’s concerned about you
That’s why, while you were out, he called and texted you 30 times. If you don’t respond to him soon, he becomes enraged, or as he puts it, “worried.” See how it’s a ruse for him to make you feel guilty for not paying attention to his crazy whims and “needs” when he’s the furthest thing from a caring boyfriend?
7. He wishes to begin a family.
This is certainly a common and pleasant desire, but pay attention to how it’s carried out. If his goal is for you to have a family so that you may stop working and remain at home with kids in a house far away from your dear ones, it could be part of his strategy to exclude you and take control of your life: he’ll soon be in charge of your whereabouts, resources, and everything else.
8. He constantly flatters you
Although a little flattery is good for you and makes you feel good, it can be used as a cover if your partner is constantly charming you.He’s hoping to catch you off guard and then use your charm to control you later.
9. He lets you know when you’ve drank too much.
You were both at a party together, and he encouraged you to cut down on your drinking after seeing you having a good time with your buddies. What is the explanation for this? He is concerned about you and does not want you to be hungover the next day. Dad, I appreciate it. What’s more, guess what? He might have been irritated that you were having so much fun because he’s a jealous, insecure guy.
10. He compares you to other women and tells you how much better you are.
When he says that all his ex-girlfriends were psychotic, but you’re so much better than them, you might take it as a compliment. Maybe you’re the most beautiful lady he’s ever encountered. This can be praised, but not if he’s acting sexist and prejudiced.
11. He enjoys joking around.
He’ll refer to you as “crazy” or “stupid,” but only in jest. He claims it’s his method of expressing his affection. No, no, no. It’s not the case. It’s his method of pretending to be joking while hoping that the remarks stick in your head long enough for you to believe them.
12. He makes suggestions “purely for your own good.
He cares so deeply about you that he’ll show you the best way to do your work, talk to your closest buddy, make you a cup of tea, and even help you shed those extra pounds you didn’t even realize you had. It’s not for your own benefit; it’s his means of keeping you under his control. But who cares? You’re an adult who can make your own decisions.
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