If you’ve had a negative experience, like being taken for granted by a selfish ex or being belittled by a toxic friend, there were likely emotions that you didn’t fully process (hello anger and frustration). Over time, this could cause resentment, which makes you bitter and jaded. Here are 15 bad consequences of carrying resentment around. It’s time to let it go!...CONTINUE READING THE FULL ARTICLE>>>
If you’re always feeling resentful or bitter, it can have a negative effect on your body. It reduces its ability to fight infections and prevent illness from striking. What happens is that those negative emotions are causing a constant release of stress hormones, hello cortisol, in the blood that suppresses the immune system.
If you’re resentful, you might replay the negative experience in your head, which keeps you in a state of anger. This can cause you to lash out at others or nitpick your partner about small grievances (are you trying to give Larry David a run for his money with your rage?). Over time, too much anger can interfere with your ability to experience positive emotions, such as joy and gratitude.
It’s difficult to keep your resentment limited to one area of your life, such as the past. As with any stress, it’ll start to spread all over, causing huge problems. For example, you might hold onto resentment for your ex so strongly that it harms your current relationship.
If your ex was dishonest or cheated on you, you might expect your partner to do the same thing to you. This sucks the happiness out of your present and future.
Resentment that isn’t resolved can build up and lead to passive-aggressive behavior. Examples include if you make sarcastic comments when someone confronts you about something, or you claim you’re fine when you’re actually angry. This happens because you’re suppressing your feelings, and that makes you lash out passive-aggressively instead of dealing with your issues.
It’s understandable to feel personally attacked when someone hurts you. But if you’re walking around feeling or behaving like a victim, and you expect tons of sympathy from others, it can be toxic. A victim mentality causes you to not take responsibility for your choices, leaving you helpless and out of control of your life.
It’s difficult to move on with your life and embrace a positive future if you’re constantly thinking about how people from your past hurt you.
You might be ruminating over previous events, replaying them constantly, and reliving their emotional effects, which causes stress. Consulting with a qualified therapist can help you move past the resentment so it doesn’t hold you back from living a happy and healthy life.
If someone hurt you deeply, you might entertain ideas of exacting your revenge on them. Although there’s nothing wrong with these dark fantasies (because they don’t have to become real), over time, they can keep you locked in a state of anger or bitterness.
This causes mental and emotional distress. Instead of giving you closure, they keep you entangled in the situation!
Carrying the emotional burden of resentment can make you more sensitive to anything that reminds you of its source. So, if someone makes a belittling comment similar to what a toxic person previously told you, this can cause you to lash out at them.
Your reactions might be over the top for the situation with even minor triggers causing a strong emotional response.
It’s difficult to be positive about people and life if you’re holding onto grudges. They’re keeping your thoughts in a state of negativity, which is affecting how you speak to yourself and how you perceive others. You’re walking around looking at the world from behind a black-tinted lens.
To protect yourself from experiencing further pain in life, you might withdraw socially. This is a defense mechanism so that you don’t have to deal with your fears of rejection turning into reality. This ruins your chances of opening up to new social connections or deepening old relationships.
If you’re carrying resentment, you might’ve internalized negative emotions from the experience. Maybe you blame yourself for why people have hurt you, thinking you’re flawed in some way.
This can damage your self-confidence and self-worth. That lack of confidence extends outwards too, making it hard for you to form deep connections with others.
There’s a link between resentment and emotional bias. When you experience intense emotions, such as anger and frustration, it causes you to choose emotional gratification instead of rational thinking.
For example, a small argument with your partner could cause you to blow up dramatically because it gives you a feeling of power. However, this short-term gratification ignores the long-term consequences, such as the breaking down of your bond.
Carrying all the heavy emotions of resentment can cause you to lack spiritual growth. This is because you’re blocking your inner peace and perspective.
It can make it difficult for you to learn from your experiences and gain insights into yourself because you’re viewing everything that happens through the lens of past grievances.
Feeling resentful can sometimes fuel comparisons and competitiveness with others. For example, if you’re holding a grudge against someone, you might try to measure your success against theirs or try to one-up them by bragging about your achievements. Although this might make you feel good about yourself in the moment, it breeds feelings of inadequacy and erodes your inner peace.
It takes a lot of energy to carry resentment and grudges around. Instead of using this energy for more positive and productive tasks, such as pursuing your dreams and working on your confidence, resentment forces you to dwell on negative thoughts that drain your vitality. It’s such a waste!
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