I had a call from Steve. Steve had been pursuing me for months but I was not paying him any attention. Iโd gone out with him on different occasions. It was one of those moments he proposed to me. I said, โNo, I canโt date you.โ He answered, โI will understand if you tell me you donโt know me that much so youโll need some time to study me.[โฆ]CLICK HERE TO READ THE FULL ARTICLEโถ
Thatโs fine but saying you canโt date me means youโve thrown out all the possibilities of falling in love with me and that hurts.โ I apologized. I said, โI can ask for time but it wonโt change anything so the best thing I can tell you is the truth. Please understand me. Youโre an amazing person by all standards. I like it that you care enough for me to be here with me but I canโt say yes to your proposal.โ
I was coming out of a relationship that nearly killed me. I closed my heart to anything love and itโs the reason I didnโt even ask for time to think about it. He kept coming. He kept calling and asking me to judge him by the content of his character instead of judging him by his gender. I didnโt listen to him. My mind was made up. I wasnโt going to date anyone after what Iโd been through.
The day before the lockdown when he called, he said, โAnnie, the world is coming to an end and you still wonโt give me the opportunity to love who I love? What if tomorrow we all die? What will we tell God if he asks us what we did with the love he placed in our hearts?โ
Somehow I was touched. I asked him, โSo what do you want me to do?โ He answered, โYou know what I want from you. Just say yes to my proposal. Thatโs all I want from you.โ I answered, โI will think about it again.โ
I spent the lockdown with my friend Alice. She had been a friend for a very long time and she knew everything concerning my love life. She was the one I discussed the issue with; โSo this guy Steve had been pursuing me since I broke up with Fiifi.
The way love has treated me in the past, I donโt want to give my heart to any man again. The next breakup will finish me. Itโs better I reserve whatโs left of me.โ She asked me, โThat means you wonโt get married? Remember there are stages.
You canโt jump and land in marriage. You have to fall for someone else before marriage can happen.โ I gave her more details about Steve and in the end, she said, โHeโs a good guy. Give him a chance. Todayโs men donโt pursue a woman for this long. You say no, they move on to the next girl but he had been around. Please be fair and say yes to him.โ
The next evening when Steve called, I said yes to him. He went crazy on the phone, screaming and jumping around. โThis is the best news Iโve heard since this pandemic happened. Can you imagine? People are in the hospitals fighting for their lives but Iโm here falling in love. How lucky can I be? Who am I that the universe will favor me this way?โ
We couldnโt meet immediately. He works at the hospital and he was always busy because of the pandemic. We made several attempts to meet during the lockdown but we couldnโt. He always had something to do. When the lockdown was increased by another week, he called and said, โI will come to your place and take you home. Tell your friend youโre not coming back until the lockdown is lifted.โ
I told Alice about it. She gave me her blessings so the next day, I left with him to his house. He lives in one of the posh suburbs in Accra. A house that looked too big for him alone to live there. I asked him, โAnd you live here all by yourself?โ He answered, โYeah, days ago I was living here all by myself until you came along to change everything.โ
When he left for work, I stayed behind and made meals. I kept the house very neat so he could return home to see a difference. He always complimented me on my good job. At some point, he said, โWhy donโt you bring all your things here and come and live with me? Itโs big enough for the two of us.โ
I answered, โIf thatโs what you want, then please marry me. If you marry me tomorrow, I will come live with you tomorrow.โ He answered, โThatโs not a problem at all. After all, thatโs the point of this relationship.โ
Not too long afterward, I took him home to meet my parents. He clicked instantly with my mom and they could talk about everything, just the two of them. One day my dad asked when he would come around with a drink to initiate marriage. He responded, โVery soon, dad. It wonโt be long at all.โ
Because of that relationship he developed with my parents, he could come to my house, spend the night there and even do things you wonโt expect a boyfriend to do in his would-be in-lawsโ house. We were just cool and had a relationship that flowed seamlessly like the brook.
Somewhere in 2021, he sent me a message, โCome home. Thereโs something we need to discuss. I rushed home to him, ready and anxious about what he had to say. He said, โPromise me you wonโt get angry if I tell you what I want to tell you.โ I promised him. He said, โYouโre just saying it but I know youโll be angry once I tell you.โ
I told him, โYou can only know when you tell me.โ He said, โItโs ok. Maybe not today.โ I pushed him to tell me. I even nagged all day trying to coerce him to say what was on his mind but he said, โForget it. Maybe very soon but not today.โ
Later in the night when he realized I was getting angry he said, โOh itโs about what I did to you three days ago. Iโm feeling guilty and thinking you didnโt like it.โ
Three days prior, we were doing shuperu when he accidentally passed through the back gate. The pain was too much so I screamed and cried for him to stop. He didnโt stop until he got his release. I was angry, yes. I even told him weโll never do shuperu again until marriage but at that moment, I felt like that wasnโt the reason he said he wanted to tell me something. I pushed and pushed but he wouldnโt tell me so I let him be.
Then he started hiding from me. He wouldnโt pick up my calls, He would rather send me a message later to tell me he was attending to a patient. He gave me one of his home keys but one day I looked inside my bag and it wasnโt in there. I asked him if he took it but he said no. I asked for a new key but he never gave it to me. When I called to tell him I was going to visit him, he gave me reasons why I couldnโt come around.
One month later, the excuses were getting too many so I went to the hospital where he was working and stood next to his car until he closed from work and came to see me there. I told him, โI donโt know what is happening. Youโre taking me home tonight. Youโll tell me everything tonight. I donโt like the way youโre treating me these days.โ
He said he couldnโt take me home and I asked why. He answered, โMy family has come to visit. The house is full and you know I canโt just take you there like that when I havenโt introduced you properly to them. Wait until they are gone, then I will take you home again.โ
This hide and seek continued for over two months. I got angry and went to stand next to his car at the hospital again. I told him, โI wonโt listen to whatever youโll say. Today, we are going home together.โ He said a lot of things to get me to leave but I was determined not to leave.
Then he said, โOK, let me confess to you. Iโm married. We have three children. My wife and kids came from abroad not too long ago. Itโs the reason we canโt go home.โ
His confession stung me like a scorpionโs stinger. All of a sudden I couldnโt feel my heartbeat. I said, โSteve, youโre joking right? No this canโt be true. Are you saying this just to get rid of me? No, it canโt be true.โ He said softly, โIโm sorry I lied. I love you so much. I didnโt want to lose you thatโs why I lied. Please forgive me.โ I screamed, โSteve youโre mad. I should do what?
Forgive you as if this didnโt happen? Me, forgive you so you can go ahead and enjoy your family while I bleed to death? Steve, youโre lying. Youโll regret ever crossing paths with me. Expect me tomorrow at your house. Your wife would know what you did to me. No wonder you asked me to get rid of the baby when I got pregnant. What was I thinking? I could do all this for you only for you to pay me back this way? Steve, I will destroy you.โ
We were outside but he went down on his knees begging me. I walked away. By the time I got home, he was in my house waiting for me. He had told my mom to speak to me on his behalf though my mom didnโt know the full story. When I narrated everything to my mom, she broke down and cried. She said, โSteve youโve killed me.
I trusted you. Iโve never related to any of my daughterโs friends like I relate to you. I like you but why would you go to that extent? You could have told her the truth and she would still accept to be with you but why give her hope and later kill the hope this way?
That night he said he wouldnโt go home until I forgive him. I knew he was only trying to keep me around so I donโt go to his house. It was my dad who asked him to go and come the following day. When he left my dad called a meeting. He said, โThe harm has already been done.
We canโt do anything to change things. We can only move on. It hurts but we can only move on. But before that, I will make sure he compensates you handsomely. A man in his position will do anything to set himself free.โ I was still crying so I didnโt have the mind to say no or yes to what my dad was saying.
The following day he came around after work. My dad told him everything and asked him how much he could compensate me. He said, โI want her to name her price. If I can, I will go by it. Iโve hurt her and Iโm ready to do everything to make her happy.โ I said, โGHC1,500 every month.โ He asked, โUntil when? I didnโt have an answer.
My dad said, โlooking at what she had been through itโs better you do it until maybe she gets another man who will make her forget about what you did to her.โ My dad turned to me and asked, โIs that alright?โ I nodded my head. We negotiated until we concluded on GHC1,200 every month.
He had been paying the amount every month since July 2021. He had never defaulted. Every once in a while, He will call and apologize. I will tell him, โThe only reason I havenโt blocked your number is because of the monthly allowance. I donโt need your call. Concentrate on your family and leave me alone. But he never stopped calling. Sometimes I will pick up his calls and other times too I wonโt mind him.
The problem now is, because of the arrangement I have with him, Iโm not able to open up to another man. There is this guy I like. I want to say yes to his proposal. He came home one day and spent all evening with us. The next morning Steve called me, โDo you have a boyfriend now? Just tell me so I can stop paying the allowance. I wasnโt fair to you and Iโm being punished.
If thereโs fairness in you, you will come and tell me you have someone.โ I asked him, โWhat are you talking about?โ He answered, โThat guy in your house last night, who is he? He came there around 7pm and left around 11pm. What was he doing there? What was his mission if he didnโt have anything to do with you?โ
I angrily cut the call. But the question on my mind was, โWho is telling him all that?โ Our house is a semi compound house with two other households. It could be that he had paid someone in the house to keep an eye on me. If thatโs the case, then I donโt know who else he had asked to keep eyes on me. The next day he called my dad and told him a guy spent a night with me.
My dad called me, โIf what heโs saying is true then we have to stop him from paying those amounts to you. I want fairness thatโs why we all agreed for him to compensate you this way. If someone is in the corner, speak now, and letโs tell him to stop. He canโt do that forever.โ
The problem here is that I lost my job last year. I was a pupils teacher waiting for an opening to enter the corporate world. I havenโt had that opening yet. The Covid also dried the account of the school I was teaching so I got laid off. What he sends me is what I live on so I canโt possibly ask him to stop.
This guy here is also very serious about me, looking at the things heโs telling me and how he intends to go with the relationship if I say yes. Iโve been in a relationship and lost. Two times I nearly die. This guy coming can also be one of the guys who will be serious with me today and leave tomorrow.
If I cancel the arrangement, and he later leaves, Iโve lost twice. I wanted to get a job before saying yes to the guy but this guy wonโt listen.
โYou donโt need a job before everything. A job is not everything. Some women have married while jobless. We can do this too. Just give me a chance.โ So even when I havenโt asked him to come around, heโll come. I havenโt gone to his house though. Iโm scared Steve would get a hint of it and use it as a case against me.
What do you think I should do? I canโt also tell this boyfriend of mine to pay me a monthly allowance like Steve is doing. He might think Iโm a golddigger and leave me. Please I need your opinionsโฆCLICK HERE TO READ MORE ARTICLES>>>ย